Everything matters, nothing matters frightfully

I’m supposed to be finishing up our post for this week about company valuations – the unwritten levers behind how companies are valued, beyond just the math.

The post was inspired by a call I had with Scott Galloway on New Year’s Eve, about Section’s current valuation (depressingly low) and how to 3-5x it in 2025.

He was supposed to be on safari with his family, and I was supposed to be helping my wife prepare for a dinner party/celebration at our house – but here we were talking about valuations. Hell of a way to ring in the new year.

But I’ve been distracted all week. I’m about to get on a plane to visit my brother in Whistler, B.C., who is recovering from a botched surgery that almost killed him, and will take months to fully recover from.

I have worked at my own startups for over 30 years. For me, the effort to build a viable, then valuable investor-backed company is all-consuming almost all the time.

There might be another way to do it – but I doubt it, and not for me. The gravitational pull of the needs of the company have always pulled me away from my own well-being, my marriage, and my family and friends.

Three years ago, after my lung cancer surgery (VERY lucky, stage 1, detected by a routine body scan), my surgeon assured me I would be working within days of the tumor removal.

I was pumped. I checked out of Stanford hospital, and within days, re-started our Series B fundraising process. I spent the next four weeks with Taylor pitching increasingly disinterested investors on our plan.

It did not go well. The capital markets were cooling post-pandemic, as were our sales, and I was bringing my B game at best. We did not close the round (probably a good thing) and I crashed for the next month.

At least now, I have the benefit of a little wisdom or perspective. Don’t do what I’ve done over the last 30 years — do this instead.

The circle: every day and big moments

Start by drawing a circle on a piece of paper with your name in the middle.

Fill that circle with 10 names of the closest people in your life – family, close friends, business partners. Could be less than 10, could be more, but probably not more than 20. The circle might be bigger if you’re older like me.

Be intentional about these names — as you will have to hold yourself to a high standard when it comes to these relationships.

Every day

This one is simple and hard, and it’s all about your phone.

For those in your circle, can you put away your phone at least once a day for a conversation with that person, so they have your undivided attention?

Or, if you’re talking with them on the phone or on Zoom, can you avoid multi-tasking for the entire conversation – and if not, for at least 15-30 minutes?

My wife started doing something a year ago that is very effective when I talk with her and “work” on my phone at the same time. She stops talking, leaves the room, or starts her own task. I notice, am usually embarrassed, and most of the time, I put my phone down. Sometimes we need the intolerance of someone we love to make us notice.

Now that I have two grandkids under 12 months in the Bay Area, I get to spend time sitting with them on the floor. In these moments, it’s easy for me to put away my phone, or not even think about picking it up. I’m in awe of them and the novelty has not worn off. Maybe it never will, especially if I spend just 30-60 minutes with them every week or so.

I know it’s not so easy for parents. Our kids were little a long time ago, before our addictions to smart phones. It would have been hard for me to look away from the instant gratification of work to play with my baby, day in and day out. But if you’re a parent of young kids, put your phone away at least once every day when you are with them.

Big moments

This one is simple and hard in a different way.

It’s all about giving up your work “performance” for someone else’s well-being in the moments they most need it.

When someone in your circle – and that includes you – has a moment of need (crisis, health, disruption, or celebration), you need to be willing to make a real sacrifice of your time, schedule, output, or reputation to show up.

You’ll know you’re doing this right when you notice the impact on your work. The time and energy you re-allocated should have a cost for you. Your projects, responsibilities, etc. will suffer for at least a few hours, maybe a few days. I should have pushed that Series B fundraise for at least 60 days — none of my board members would have questioned that decision or cared.

There were many, many years when I did not do this. My output, my tasks, and my reputation came first — often cloaked in the virtue that “this is what it takes to build a company” or “this is the sacrifice that leaders need to make.”

Everything matters, nothing matters frightfully

My first job out of college was selling computers for DEC, a company that was the NVIDIA of its day and no longer exists.

My first boss was a British guy who wore three-piece suits and talked like someone from Downton Abbey. That was back in the day when selling meant getting showered and dressed in real clothes and going to see prospects in person vs. stalking them on LinkedIn in your sweatpants.

And he often said, “Remember, Greg — everything matters, nothing matters frightfully.”

If you’re ambitious and want the rewards of your ambition, you will need to care a LOT about the quality of your work and contributions.

You will often need to put that work ahead of other commitments and people — and likely for sustained periods of time. I just don’t see any other way to be reliably or somewhat predictably successful.

But while all that work stuff matters, none of it matters frightfully.

So spend some time thinking about your circle of family and friends. Make the list today, and when needed (not asked), show up in some meaningful way. For these people, in those moments, a thoughtful text just won’t cut it — for them, or for you.

– Greg

P.S. Maybe someone in your circle is impacted by the fires in LA. This is one of those moments.